Israel Shamir

Ideas that will Derail the descent to Barbarity

Toilet Wars

FRENCH TRANSLATION: La guerre des toilettes

Boys and girls are different. Once, this difference had been celebrated. Vive la petit difference, exclaimed the French, and other nations also enjoyed it. Now it has lead to multiple troubles, on the seas, in the cities and even in outer space, as you will learn now.

Men and women pee in a dissimilar way, to start with. It was not a problem for last six thousand years of recorded history, but now, for the enlightened West, it has become a real worry. This difference is upsetting for feminists, who want to do everything men do. In 1970s, the first Women Lib posters proudly presented a badass of a girl peeing in a urinal, to great amazement and envy of a few properly diversified onlookers. But that was then. Since then, the feminists decided it will be more fun to force men to use female facilities and to destroy facilities for men.

The newest American aircraft carrier USS Gerald R. Ford has no urinals. It is all gender-neutral, so a few ladies serving on board the ship will be able to go to pee wherever they wish. New gender-neutral toilets take much more space, they aren’t specially clean because men miss the bowl quite often, and they are much more time-consuming. But Submission of the Male and exorcism of the Patriarchal spirit offsets this small deficiency.

Germany and Sweden eliminated urinals, too. Their toilets are suitable for men and women, they are gender-neutral but money-specific. In order to pee in a public toilet in Sweden you must use a smartphone and a credit card: their toilets not only charge a lot, they do not take coins and bills, too.

In Germany, the most guilt-ridden land on earth, a man using a urinal is branded a Nazi. A Non-Nazi German should pee sitting down, like a woman. Ditto Sweden. Not surprisingly, Germans and Swedes have the highest in Europe (over 80%) approval rate for accepting migrants from the war-torn Middle East. German and Swedish women are all for import of manly Pashtuns and Kurds, as their own men have become too effeminate trying to fit the feminist agenda. Native men just agree with what their womenfolk decide, and are too scared to dissent; while women are notoriously fickle and likely to reject what they chose in the first place.

Well, some men found a way. Berliners go and pee among the stelae of their Holocaust memorial. There are about three thousand concrete slabs, or stelas, the place is rather dark, and the smell leaves you with no doubt that local men found a solution to the lack of urinals. But not every city is blessed with such a graceful and useful memorial.

American schools have become an arena of the long war for toilets, with some kids confused about their gender playing the leading role. If Jack feels he is really Jill, may he come and pee in the ladies’? There is no acceptable answer to this question beyond eliminating toilets altogether.

In Paris, a great piece of street furniture called pissoir had been invented in 19thcentury, and it made city life easy. Men could pop in and pee for free and without bother. But the feminists objected to it, and the spirit of capitalism supported them. A free facility is already a beginning of hated socialism. Rapidly, the number of street urinals went down from 1200 to one. Instead, pay booths suitable for men and women came into existence. These structures demand money, take time and are complicated to use. The feminists were happy, money-charging descendants of Vespasian (the Emperor who said ‘money doesn’t smell’ and introduced a toilet tax) were very happy, but men weren’t so happy to pay for something they always had for free. So the men preferred to pee outside. And Paris stunk to high heaven.

Squeezed between malodorous streets and feminist fury, the Paris Town Hall created a new sort of urinal: open-air one, zero privacy, just pee and go away. Not much of a luxury, nothing for women to be envious about. And they weren’t envious, – just furious. They assaulted the hated symbols of male patriarchy with concrete, pouring it down the drain, and quickly blocked them and made them unusable. I suppose the owners of pay-as-you-pee supported them, and probably even supplied them with concrete at slashed rate, but it is just my wild guess. Anyway, now Paris stinks again, and the feminists may use this reason to hate men.

And now this toilet war had been carried out to the outer space. There was a strange recent incident on the International Space Station (ISS). The pressure in the station had dropped. In the search of a possible leak, a small (2 mm) hole had been discovered in a wall of the Russian Soyuz spacecraft docked to the station. The hole was located near the toilet and covered by decorative fabric.

The US astronauts demanded that their mission be aborted and they return to earth; the Russian cosmonauts just glued the hole with a bit of epoxy and the flight went on.

It was promptly established that it was not a result of a meteorite strike; the hole had been drilled. Dmitry Rogozin, head of Roscosm said that it was probably done by a homesick astronaut. This version was considered just too bizarre. It was dismissed by all and sundry as a new proof of Russian goofiness. The preferred version said that the hole was drilled by a Russian worker on the ground, immediately before take-off, as you would expect from inept Russians.

However, it is possible that Rogozin was right. I have heard from people in Korolyev (Russian Houston) a very unusual if unverified story that fits perfectly with the rest of American toilet gender disorder. The setup is as follows. The ISS has an American, a Russian and a common compartments, separated but interconnected. (The Russian segment is the docked spacecraft). There are four astronauts in the Western sector, and two cosmonauts in the Russian sector. Among the Westerners, there is one lady.

Though the astronauts are carefully checked, still in the space things could run into uncharted territory. The story from Korolyev says the lady objected to their toilet arrangements as demeaning for her as a woman, and tried to readjust the equipment to fit her requirements. The men did their own readjustment and complained about the feminist. In a short while, the delicate toilet in the Western sector had been broken beyond repair, for nothing is simple in the space, not even going to loo.

And the big grown men, ex-Navy and ex-Air Force captains and commanders, had been reduced to use diapers on the daily basis. It is not only unpleasant to use: the ISS has no storage for such a mass of used and stinking diapers. The Western sector began to stink like Paris streets or worse.

By that time, the astronauts became mightily upset by the lady’s extravagant behaviour, and they complained: “Houston, we have a problem! Please take her home!” Houston, or NASA, had two objections to granting their wish. One, diversity and female equality had to be maintained at all costs. The second objection was money.

Now only the Russians have the means to take astronauts to the station and back home. Though the US had landed a man on the Moon many years ago, they still have no working shuttle to fly men to ISS. The inept Russians still have their spacecraft, though their best shuttle The Buran and their best space station Mir had been dumped during the pro-Western stage of Russia’s political orientation at American insistence. The Americans have to pay a hefty sum to the Russians for each flight, and evacuation of the virago would punch a hole in NASA budget, bigger and more painful than the hole in the ISS hulk. That’s why Houston replied breezily: “This is your problem, guys! Try to get along with her!”

The Russian toilet and shower worked fine, and the Americans at first tried to use it. But after a quarrel (and alas, people forced to live in close quarters are likely to quarrel), the Russians objected and barred the Western astronauts from their Soyuz. The lady’s mental health deteriorated, and stench and floating excrement made her miserable and vicious; and eventually her companions decided to implement a smart plan. When the two Russians went out to space for scheduled work, the Americans made their way to the Russian module (there are no locks in the ICC) and drilled a hole, sealing it with a sealant and covering with decorative fabric.

It was a creative and working idea. The sealant held on for a while and didn’t burst immediately. The pressure in the station is quite low, only one atmosphere, so the hole didn’t present a mortal danger for the team. If and when the leak were found, it would be possible to insist on emergency evacuation of the crew, thus getting rid of the troublesome virago and extricating themselves from the stinky hell while blaming the goofy Russians for the failure. And the best part of it: the hole is in the section of the Soyuz capsule that is jettisoned during its return to Earth, thus eliminating all evidence of the foul game.

But the plan didn’t work out. The Russians closed the hole with a better epoxy sealant and refused evacuation. Keep shitting in your diapers, gentlemen! The Western commander jerked into the Russian module, shouting “I, as a commander, will decide what to do about it”, and he tore off the sealant. The Russians told him: “You are the station commander, but on board the Soyuz you’re just a guest”, and they bodily kicked him out and re-sealed the hole.

The cosmonauts reported to Korolyev (the Russian flight control centre), and Korolyev asked Houston to show them video records from the American module to check who went with the drill to the Russian module. The Russian sanitary block (and that is where the hole was drilled) isn’t monitored for privacy reasons. Houston refused outright.

The situation on the ISS remains tense; the Russians apparently used force to evict the Americans who tried to drill more holes. The Americans are unhappy as they have to spend all their nights and days with the troublesome woman, and their toilet still does not work. Now they hope that the US will soon be able to send a new all-American commercial private shuttle to remove them, for NASA is adamant in their refusal to pay Russians for the evacuation, and the Russians do not want to do this job for free. The latest reports speak of “whodunit in space” and of Russian cosmonauts planning more examination of the outer walls.

Thus the feminist-induced gender disorder of the West had almost caused disaster, – if you believe this story.

But another running disaster is the feminists’ attempt to derail nomination of Judge Kavanagh. One can like or dislike the judge, one can agree or disagree with his views, one may wish him in or out of the Supreme Court, but stopping him for allegedly trying to lay a girl while in high school is completely insane. MeToo, Kavanagh, I also had affairs with girls so many (and more) years ago!

Even if all the complainant claimed was true (and Kavanagh denied it) I’d find him not guilty and vote for him to the Supreme Court. Bear in mind, we speak of events that took (or not) place years ago. In those years, girls were expected to surrender only to some token force. “No means no” was a totally unheard-of idea.

I’d compare it with a parachute jump. It is usual for the instructor to kick out a hesitating parachutist. If a guy went up the plane with a parachute, and continued all the way to the door, he should be pushed if his courage fails him. “No means no” can’t be applied here. The same with the young girls. These wonderful creatures were likely to get cold feet at the critical moment while already undressed in bed with a boy, and often had to be more-or-less gently pushed. This was the game boys and girls played so many years ago. The crime of rape was known then, but its definition was not stretched as far as now.

Surely we speak of moderate and token application of force, as in case of the Kavanagh complainant. If what he did then would amount to rape, the girl would surely run to police right away. If she didn’t, it was not, it is that simple. Men and women do not need that much of state interference in their relations. If the woman kept it secret for 35 years, let her keep it for another 35 years. No man should be stopped from any position for such flimsy reason.

The Trump-and-whores saga is another example of the noxious mixture of Puritan morality and man-hating feminism. If a man of his age (we are of the same age, actually) has enough energy for his wife and for lovers, I can only congratulate him. There is no law that forbids a New York businessman or a Washington politician to court prostitutes. In some more advanced (from the feminist point of view) countries it is forbidden. In Sweden, every whore’s client faces imprisonment, while she goes scot-free. But the US is not there, yet. And hopefully it will not end there, provided the voters in the midterm elections will pay heed to their candidates’ position.

Kavanagh and Trump are the last chance of American men to regain self respect and to save America’s manhood. The stories of their adventures with girls would only encourage me to support them. It means they have some red blood in their veins. Men can and should regain the ground they lost.

PS The promised piece on the Russian Bolsheviks will come soon.

Israel Shamir can be reached at adam@israelshamir.net

This article was first published at The Unz Review.

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